Say what?

My darling wife has been on me for years to get my hearing checked.
So recently, when I saw my primary doctor, I told him of her wish.

Doc, "What do you think?"
Me, "Well, I do have trouble understanding what she says at times, but I think it's because she mumbles."
Doc, "It's a fact that men of a certain age start to lose the ability to hear higher frequencies and women, who speak in a higher frequency, become even higher when they get frustrated with husbands who cannot hear them."
Me, "of a certain age?"
Doc, "Tell you what, I'll refer you for a hearing test and her to a speech therapist."

Anyway, I have hearing aides now because apparently I am of a certain age.

Today was my first full day wearing them.
I put them in my ears while my bagel was toasting.
The scraping sound of the butter knife going across the bagel was enough to wake the dead!
How does anyone in my house sleep late when I get up and make that kind of racket?

I had to call the IT guys at work.
My computer keyboard sounds like the old fashioned typewriters!
I told them it was broken.
They said it always sounded like that.

I don't know how you non hearing impaired people do it.
I mean, how do you put up with all the noise all the time?

I made it through my first day and ironically, I'm not sure I need them now, because my wife seems to have stopped mumbling.

I'm taking them out now for the night, all this auditory stimulation is tiring.