Gloria

I have struggled for a week or so on what to write for this blog. At first I thought it was writer's block, the first since starting this blog in early March. Then I realized something, I write the best when I write from the heart. When I do that it is effortless, it flows. It might not always be great in the literary sense, but it is true, it is real. This past week my heart has been in pain. I have written about it already, but not from my heart. Today I write for my own healing, I ask you to bear with me. My mother in law, Gloria Perreault Bessenaire, is no longer with us. I believe she is in a better place. I believe she is happy with God. I truly believe this, and I still miss her. I have known her for 39 years, she was a saint among us. She dedicated herself to the care of others, especially her family. She gave me acceptance into the family she protected, she gave me her daughter, she gave me love. She reminded me so much of my own dad, the way she lived her life. They both passed too young. She made me a better person. I miss her smile, her laugh, I miss her. As hard as this is on me, it is harder to watch her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren grieve. It is extremely hard to watch my wife. The tears that soak my shirt when she rests and cries against my chest seem to bleed all the way through to my heart. Having gone through this years ago with my own dad makes her pain, her sibling's pain, all the more real to me. We will get through this together. The pain will decrease with time, memories will remain. She will live on in us because she has touched us and we are better for it. For now though, it hurts. This entry will be rough. I will not ask my editor to edit it. I thank you for giving me the space to heal. I thank you for your love and support. Do me a favor? Hug those you love.