Love

You'd think after 41 years of marriage I'd have this thing we call love all figured out.
You'd think I would have the answers, that I'd found the secret to a long and happy marriage.
Sorry.
I don't have the answers.

Some people hear we've been together for this long and say "congratulations" like it's an honor we've won that many strive for but few achieve.
Please don't look like it that way.
We know many who are divorced.
We did not do it better than them.
Most of those people are correct to be divorced, some waited too long.
Some people suffer through too many painful years, even abuse, before making the difficult and painful decision to split.
Michelle and I haven't done marriage better, just different.
Loving one person your whole life doesn't make you an expert, doesn't mean you are more successful.

There are so many different forms of love.
Parents and siblings,
bothers and sisters and cousins,
close friends,
lovers,
men and women,
men and men,
women and women.
Sometimes, love is instant, like the first time you see your baby's face.
Sometimes it builds slowly, like the acquaintances who know each other forever, and then start feeling something closer.
Sometimes love lasts a lifetime, sometimes a summer.

Love isn't finite.
It isn't like if you love one person with your whole heart and soul that you cannot love another.
I love Michelle, and my children, and my siblings and cousins and friends.
Love for one does not diminish love for another.
It seems to grow as your experience it.

Sometimes we look to those we love to be a source of fulfillment.
Please don't, it isn't possible or fair to those people.
They can provide support and strength, but fulfillment needs to come from within, from self-love.

All forms of love are special, all precious, and we all deserve to find it, not with just one person, but with many people in many forms, during our life.

So don't look at us being married for 41 years as something special, don't hold us up as something to emulate.
Find your own forms of love, and embrace them.

Michelle and I have been lucky to have been in love so long.
It's special and comforting.
We have gone through many of life's trials together and that makes for a special bond.
We have times when we are ready to walk away, times when we are so angry with each other.  But anger is not the opposite of love.....apathy is, just not caring any more.
We've not experienced that with each other.

Life isn't a fairy tale, it comes with bills, and mortgages, and family.
There are days of doubts, it's not happily ever after.

Sometimes though, even now, we feel like we are back as we were in high school.
To this day she excites me if she dresses or undresses in front of me (and she knows this)
But our closest times are when something great or something tragic happens and we want the other with us to share the moment.

So don't look to others to find the definition of love, because it will be different for you.
Go out and find it in the forms meant for you, and have the courage to embrace them when you do.

DNC in review

I couldn't speak the words to the National Anthem, something I had recited millions of times before.
But this time I was standing with the other delegates of the DNC and at that moment on day 1 of the convention, the enormity of the situation struck me, and I was choked up.
It was then that I realized I was really there, really going to be a part of history, really there the night the glass ceiling was shattered. And it was then that I realized it would be a week full of emotions.

The Mothers of the Movement who have lost sons and daughters to police shootings, the Police Chiefs who have lost peace officers to assassinations like in Dallas but have seen the community rally to their side. My own Senator Chis Murphy and others, including Representative Gabrialle Giffords, call out for reasonable gun control measures so that 20 first grades and their teachers need never die again as they did in Newtown, CT.
The salute to veterans and active duty and to the victims of 911.
The rousing speech of Rev Barber, the inspirational speech by Doloras Huerta of the United Farm Workers, the quiet story of Bill Clinton and the pride of Chelsea.
The eloquence of Michelle Obama and the conviction of Barack.
Vermont passing during roll call so that they could go last and Bernie could move the nomination of Hillary, one of the classiest moves we will ever experience in or out of politics.

And there were other, quieter moments.
Like sitting with Representative Jim Himes and discussing what it is like to be in a union and what it is like to be a democratic legislator from a conservative district and later sitting with Mrs Himes, in the middle of the convention, and discussing not politics, but life, and my growing up in Connecticut and her Canada, much as any two people would do had they met elsewhere.
Sitting with my Congressman, Joe Courtney, at breakfast and discussing his reelection, the second district, and having him introduce me the Secretary of Labor, Tom Perez.
Having a friend back home send me a copy of a text from his daughter, excited about serving Lt.Governor Nancy Wyman lunch at a local restaurant and telling Nancy about it.

Late night conversations back at the hotel over a nightcap or two and hearing the passion of the other delegates.
Being there when the glass ceiling was shattered with the nomination and acceptance speech of the first female nominee for president by a major party.

It was an amazing week. Our political system is not perfect. But WE THE PEOPLE have the ability and the responsibility to be involved and that is what makes it better, not sitting on the sidelines and complaining that we have no voice.

I cast my vote

It was an incredible honor to be able to able to cast a vote yesterday for the nomination of Hillary Clinton.
I officially cast that vote for the people of the second congressional district of Connecticut, but I cast it for so many more.
I cast it for my children and grandchildren.
I cast it for the generations yet to come.
I cast it for my ancestors, immigrants from Ireland.
I cast it for all immigrant people, whether they came in boats from Europe, in bondage from Africa, from our southern boarders, over the landmass from Asia, or elsewhere, because we are a country of immigrants.
I cast it for my Grandpa, RI State Senate Pro Tem James J Brady.
I cast it for my mom, my loving wife,my granddaughter, and all women, because the glass ceiling is being shattered and it is about time.
I cast it for my Union sisters and brothers and those not yet organized, because everyone deserves the right to Just Cause and Collective Bargaining.
I cast it for my LGBTQ friends, because love is love, and love trumps hate.
I cast it for the young Black Men of this country, because Black Lives do matter and all children are our children.
I cast it for those who serve in our military, our police, our firefighters and first responders, because you put your lives in harms way for our betterment.
I cast it for our teachers, paraprofessionals, school support staff, our public servants, our nurses and other healthcare workers, because you answer to a calling that comes from deep within.
I cast it for the laborers, the farmers, the fishermen, the office workers, because you build, you feed, you make happen.
I cast it for those suffering from addictions and mental illness, because their lives are precious.
I cast it for the children of Sandy Hook and Orlando, and so many others, victims of senseless gun violence.
I cast it because I believe America is great, and that she can be even greater.
Being on the floor on this historic night was incredible. I wish you could have all been there with me.
In a way, you were, in my heart.

President Bill Clinton said making the speeches is the easy part, but doing the everyday work is what makes one a Change Maker. I am surrounded in my life by Change Makers.
It was my honor to be able to cast a vote for you.

Report from the AFT Minneapolis Convention

I spent this week in Minneapolis at the AFT Convention the AFT Connecticut delegation.  Seven productive, enjoyable, and tiring days.

This was my first trip to Minneapolis and St Paul, both great cities. Many of the buildings have over the street walkways that connect them and that was appreciated with the very warm weather. We could walk from our hotel to the convention hall three blocks away without going outside.  I imagine they come in real handy in the winter.

There were lots of great places to eat or have a drink and relax with friends in the area and we also took a short ride to St Paul to check out a couple of places that were recommended to us. Some of the Connecticut delegation hopped the train and went out to the Mall of America, which they said was amazing. I wish I could have had even more time to spend with our members.  It was also great to see friends from all across the country.

We were well represented on the convention floor, with almost 100 delegates. Roger Woods won the Healthcare Everyday Hero award for his work at Danbury Hospital and across the country on Ebola and other infectious disease controls. Roger is known as the “nurse whisperer, because he uses hypnosis technics in his work to calm patients. He used it in his acceptance speech, speaking softly, and having everyone turn to their neighbor, touch them lightly on the shoulder, and tell them they were successful. It was pretty cool. 

Our delegates rose to speak on resolutions, including Lisa D’Abrosca and Harry Rodriguez, who are presidents of the L+M RN’s and Healthcare Workers, respectfully. Both rose to speak on the resolution for better controls on hospital mergers. Harry is an AFT CT VP and Lisa an AFT CT Divisional VP.

 

Hillary Clinton was inspirational in her speech as were Randi Weingarten, Mary Cathryn Ricker and Loretta Johnson, and many others. President Weingarten is a good chairperson, finding a way to efficiently attend to the business of the convention, while allowing those less familiar with Roberts Rules to participate while not feeling embarrassed.  She listened with grace and patience to the few who wished to speak against her.

She and her entire Progressive Caucus slate were elected with 98% of the vote, which brings me to my most exciting news coming out of Minneapolis, the election of AFT CT President Jan Hochadel as an AFT Vice President! 

She joins the AFT Executive Council, the governing body of the international. 

It is recognition by the delegates of her incredible leadership. 

Many talk the talk, some walk the walk, Jan not only walks the walk; she brings others along with her. 

AFT CT is lucky to have her and now so too is AFT

.

I also had an opportunity to practice my nursing skills, assisting in a couple of medical emergencies, including a trip to the local hospital.  Luckily, both patients recovered nicely.

Always lots of work to do after a convention and while my fellow officers will be back hard at work in Connecticut, I'm off to Philadelphia for the Democratic Convention where I will have the honor to vote for the next President of the United States on behalf of the democrats of Eastern Connecticut’s Second Congressional District.

If this is Saturday, this must be JFK

11:05 flight to Minneapolis, arriving at 1:15. 

Or not. 

Seems the plane has mechanical problems, so we are back in the terminal, awaiting repairs, and hoping against hope. 

Why oh God, WHY?

Then I realized. 

He probably has other things to think of than my travel plans. 

In fact, it reminds me of the story of the man in his house with rising flood waters. As he escaped to the roof of the house to escape the water, a boat came along. "Hop in and come to safety" they said. 

"No, God will take care of me he replied."

A helecopter came. "Climb up the rope to safety."  "No, God will takecare of me."

The water continued to rise and he drowned. 

In heaven, he asked God, "Why didn't you save me?"

God said, "I sent you a boat and a helecopter. What more did you want?"

Sometimes, we don't see God in the situation we are in. 

So,

With this delay,

I have had used the time to have a great conversation with some AFT teachers from New York. 

See you in Minneapolis.